**This is not tattoo related.**
Every now and then I go off of the rails regarding topics not industry related, one such topic would be the fact that I am extremely patriotic. It’s no secret that South Africa is rife with tension and even more so with the elections looming. Is the state of the Nation keeping me up and blogging at 11:10 on a Saturday evening? No, three silly South Africans are.
You may have seen the latest Fuck You trend doing the rounds online between a Jozi dweller, a Capetonian and most recently; a Poffadder resident. I read the first Fuck you letter to Cape Town and honestly thought that the author of that little gem might be a little sensitive, I’ve been to Cape Town and thought that it was amazing – I too have actively considered moving there.
Then came the inevitable rebuttal from the Fairest Cape (which incidentally hasn’t trended nearly enough to warrant a first page Google search result), and that just sparked my first sleepless night. Oh, lest we forget the latest installment from Poffadder, also telling entire Cities to go Fuck themselves.
I bet that you’re probably wondering what profanity or clever list that I would be able to add to this intercity battle, and to be honest I would have had a barrage of negativity to add to the collection an hour ago. That’s before I remembered how much I love South Africa!
We’ve recently driven the 13+ hour trip from Hate City to The Garden Route (which kicks all of your cities in the ass by the way), and although the second we passed the Welcome to Gauteng sign; we could smell the sweet stench that is the City of Gold, but those city lights welcomed us home with open arms. We drove through what I consider to be the most beautiful country on Earth and that might not be saying much from someone who hasn’t done much traveling outside of Sunny Ol’, but I am enamored every time I see her beauty. Rolling hills of greenery, gorgeous forgotten little towns with residents who were pretty stoked to see new faces in their dorpies; landscapes that paintings are made of. And here you all are fighting over bloody cities!
Sure, Cape Town has their mountain; and how great for them! You claim that mountain that has been standing there long before you were a flicker in your father’s eyes. Just remember that Table Mountain is not only in Cape Town, but in South Africa. It is a part of this gorgeous landscape that both cities just happen to be in. Sure, be patriotic about where you live and drink your craft beer with your bum in the sand, Joburg has hipsters too!
I grew up in a shitty little mining town on the East Rand of Johannesburg, if anyone should have an inferiority complex toward city life, it should be me. However, maybe I’ve progressed a little bit more and see the bigger picture than crime, GDP, traffic and mountains. By the way, traffic is shit in Johannesburg, but when you’re on fist pump basis with street vendors and those guys who dance for your change on the side of the road, the commute is a little easier to bear.
My point is this, while you’ve been drumming up page views and using your cleverly collected stock images and insults, you’ve missed that all three of you live in the same country. When you wake up tomorrow morning and gloat that you’ve become internet sensations, you’re still just in South Africa. The same place that you were when you decided to be assholes and spread your negative vibes. Sure, it might have been meant as satire, but there are so many other topics that you could pick on… we still have the Australians to tease (or did I just give my age away again?)!
So fuck you all… I am South African!
~TL
The Tattooed Lady 